We are by nature self-centered. When hurt by someone, your natural inclination is to hurt back. It is natural to hoard money instead of generously sharing, to defend yourself when criticized, to hide your mistakes instead of confessing them, and to try to impress others. You can usually figure out what will please God by doing the opposite of your natural inclination.
"If people want to follow me, they must give up the things they want.
They must be willing to give up their lives to follow me." Matthew 16:24 (NCV)